Senior transitions · For families

Can a Parent Afford to Stay at Home?

The real cost of staying home

Staying home feels like the cheaper choice because the house is already paid for. But the house still costs money every month (property tax, insurance, utilities, repairs and, for some, a mortgage), and once a parent needs help, the care hours are added on top.

Care is the number that decides it. Washington's median for in-home care is about $45 an hour, or about $8,580 a month for roughly 44 hours a week. A few hours a week is affordable for many families; round-the-clock care at home usually costs more than any residential setting.

Example: Dad, his house, and six hours of care a day

Dad is 84 and owns his house outright. He gets $2,400 a month from Social Security and now needs about six hours of help a day. At $45 an hour, that is about $8,190 a month. With about $1,350 a month for property tax, insurance, utilities and upkeep, staying home costs about $9,540 a month: a gap of about $7,140 a month after his income.

With $150,000 in savings, that gap uses up the savings in about 21 months. For comparison, Washington's assisted living median is about $7,546 a month and this site's adult family home estimate is about $6,500, though either would leave the house to sell, rent or keep empty. The family's choices are to close the gap with the house's equity, public programs or family help, or to plan a move before the savings run out.

Ways families close the gap

Property tax relief. Washington exempts part of the property tax for homeowners who are 61 or older (or disabled, or a surviving spouse 57 or older of a participant), live in the home more than six months a year, and have income under their county's threshold, which is at least 70 percent of the county's median household income. Apply to the county assessor. A deferral program lets some owners postpone the tax instead; the deferred tax is a lien on the house, repaid when it is sold or the owner dies or moves out.

Medicaid in-home care. Apple Health long-term care programs, including COPES and Community First Choice, pay for in-home personal care for people who meet the medical and financial tests; the home is generally exempt within the equity limit.

The house's equity. A reverse mortgage can turn equity into monthly income or a line of credit for a parent who is staying, though it generally comes due once the last borrower has been away in a care facility for more than 12 consecutive months. Selling is the other way to use the equity, and it usually means a move.

Family help and other care. Family caregivers, adult day programs and respite care can cut the paid hours. Adult day care runs about $5,395 a month in Washington for five days a week, often less than the same hours of in-home care.

When staying home stops working

The numbers are only part of it. Staying home stops working when care is needed at night, when one caregiver can no longer manage transfers or wandering safely, or when the family caregivers are worn out. When the cost of the hours needed passes the cost of a residential setting, it is worth comparing the options seriously, before a fall or a hospital stay forces the decision.

Related guides

• Aging in Place With Support
• Cost of Care Calculators
• Adult Family Home, Assisted Living or Nursing Home?
• Medicaid and Long-Term Care in Washington
• Selling a Parent's House to Pay for Care